What makes a good parent?
A great parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a great parenting experience, including how you can steer clear of bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
Some folks aren't simple or fast.
It is unlikely that anyone can do them on a regular basis.
However, even if you only do a part of these hints in this parenting guidebook, you'll be moving in the right direction if you keep working on them.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you want the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these items are provided in place of real love, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also never to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and essentially determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to find out for the future in a positive way, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your kid may come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a happy childhood might want to change some elements of the way they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like changing and think of just how you'd do it differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you do not succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief also.
Pay attention to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these parentinghowto.com two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to your kid that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later on in life, they are additionally more apt to lead to oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent-child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are an assortment of better alternatives to discipline which have been shown to be more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in raising a child?
If you are like the majority of parents, you would like your child to do well in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what frustration and anger can do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to turn every bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you focus on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, traditions, or practices have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a child and information which are supported by science, here's one of my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid differs. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be many different effective parenting methods you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for your child.
Naturally, you can also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under great parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great point is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we will eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!